A primary goal as a mediator in a conflict is to re-establish civil, constructive communication between the parties so they may resume a work relationship. Bitter feelings commonly associated with conflict often cause communication to stop or to become confrontational.
Another goal is to restore harmony and rebuild trust in the relationship. Mediation can help the parties empathize with each other - that is, walk in the other party's shoes to see what the conflict looks like from their perspective. And with a better understanding of the other party's' perception of the conflict trust can be improved. More often than not the people who created the conflict for us do not have evil motivation. The mediation process can break down those misunderstandings and correct invalid assumptions so that trust in the relationship can begin to be re-established.
Steps To Resolving the Conflict
Mediators in workplace conflicts can be successful in resolving conflicts using the following steps:
- Remain neutral. If called upon to mediate a conflict between co-workers remain neutral and impartial. Structure the interaction so the parties in conflict can find a mutually acceptable solution to their conflict. Any indication that you are favoring one party over the other will destroy the opportunity for a successful mediation.
- Identify the conflict issue. It may seem as though it would be obvious, but often times people in conflict may not have identified the true issue in the conflict.
- Focus the discussion on the issue rather than the people. When mediating conflict make it clear that the discussion will not place blame and assign it to the other party. That rule keeps the dialogue more honest. Both parties have to avoid being argumentative or person-focused. Neither party can withhold information nor insist on their original position. Require the conflict parties to use descriptive statements with facts when describing the conflict rather than statements that are judgmental and evaluative. The mediator must keep the discussion problem-centered and not people-centered.
- Control the discussion for equal time to talk. The mediator must be sure both parties have an equal chance to be heard. This can be handled by directing questions to the less talkative party and by encouraging taking turns. If need be, the mediator can direct the turn taking by asking the other party to respond to see how they feel about the issue.
- Have the parties brainstorm together to find solutions. Sometimes the parties get fixated on their position and on rejecting the other side's position. Both parties need to set aside these positions and search creatively for solutions that both sides can live with. The mediator must be sure to keep the discussion focused on helping the parties find a solution. If asked for their opinion, the mediator should remind the parties he/she is not in a position to judge but to help the parties find a way to handle the issue that both parties can feel good about.
- Establish an implementation plan. Once acceptable solutions are identified, all sides should agree on how to implement it with clearly defined and agreed-upon responsibilities. This plan should include how results will be measured and monitored. And all parties will deserve credit when the solution is a success.
- How to repair the damaged relationships. Final discussion can focus on how to repair the damaged relationships. Repairing trust in the relationship can be complex and a slow process, but the repair can start with apologies on all sides for any harm done.
Resolving conflicts is a difficult and complex process. There are times when no matter how hard both parties have tried, they will not be able to resolve their conflict in a way that meets everyone's needs.
Sheila Rosenberg - Sheila has had a professional career and been an adjunct professor that spans over 40 years. She loves writing for our readers.
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